Home For June Page 23

  She could hardly believe what she was hearing. Luca, the man who could get any woman he wanted, who’d never been without a girlfriend, pining over her like a lonely teenage boy.

  He leaned closer to her and held her cheek in his hand. She let it rest there and closed her eyes. One last beautiful moment. Something to hold onto.

  He leaned closer and brought his lips to hers, but she knew all too well what would happen if she didn’t resist, so she put her hands on his chest and pressed firmly. ‘Luca, no. What’s done is done. I’ll always remember this time, but I can’t risk my heart right now, I just can’t. Let’s leave things on good terms.’

  He stood back.

  ‘Time to move on. To move forwards. You’re going to love it here, I know it.’ She offered a small smile.

  ‘I guess this is the goodbye we never got to have, then,’ he said.

  ‘Guess so.’ Hannah breathed out a sigh.

  At least she would have closure, maybe that’s all she needed.

  ‘But I’ll still be around the next two weeks, so there’ll be another goodbye just before I go.’

  He nodded. ‘In that case, I’ll bid you goodnight, thank you again, and farewell, beautiful amazing Hannah.’ He held out his hand.

  ‘Farewell, charming and talented Luca.’ She held out her hand.

  Their skin touched, gently at first, and then she tapped his palm.

  He smiled, and tapped hers back. Then tugged down on her thumb, tapped her palm again, gave her a fist pump, a high-five, and then... held her in the tightest, longest hug she’d ever experienced. As though all her body morphed into his and they became one being, one soul. He still felt like home, and so did Tarrin’s Bay. But sometimes you had to leave home and step out into the big, bright world in order to find that home within.

  It was her time.

  Chapter 28

  ‘That wasn’t too bad, was it?’ Karen asked as she and Hannah stepped out of the office building and into the noisy city street, trying to find a gap in the moving crowd.

  A rushing woman brushed past her and Hannah’s shoulder was pushed backwards, dropping her handbag. She bent to pick it up and then bumped into a young man wearing earphones and not seeming to look where he was going. ‘Sorry.’ They stopped at the pedestrian crossing and Hannah revelled in the moment of peace while they waited. ‘Um, no, it was fine. Everyone seems nice. And I get a cubicle for an office, that’s a bit exciting.’

  ‘It is, and we can have lunch together each day and send instant messages via the office computer system and still look like we’re working.’ She chuckled. ‘Only one week to go!’

  Hannah had attended a morning meeting with her new boss, along with Karen, for an orientation to the company and her new role. She’d been on a tour of the office, met everyone, and introduced to their brand and the daily tasks that would make up her job description. She would have to buy a new wardrobe. And heels. Five days a week, plus evening and weekend events as needed would require more than her small, standard array of outfits.

  The rapid beep of the green pedestrian light sounded and they crossed the street, the lights turning red and flashing before they’d gotten halfway, making Hannah speed up. ‘They don’t give you much time to cross, do they,’ she said, scurrying and stepping up onto the safety of the pavement.

  ‘Gotta be quick around these streets. No idea how older or less mobile people go, a bit hard for them.’

  ‘Sure is. So where shall we eat?’

  ‘Up here. They have nice wraps and salads, unless you want something more exotic?’

  ‘I’m easy.’

  ‘It’s probably no match for Luca’s food, but a work lunchbreak requires efficient planning to make the most of it.’

  They took a seat in the small cafe and soon their plates arrived. Hannah got out her notepad and pen.

  ‘What are you doing? Not working I hope.’

  ‘Just jotting down some numbers for my budget. I need new clothes and shoes for starters. There’s the rent, the other household expenses, my phone and internet...’ She tapped the pen against her chin, then jotted down a few more.

  ‘Did you add Pilates classes?’

  ‘Pilates?’

  ‘Yeah, I go on Monday nights. Tonight. You should come!’

  ‘I’ll think about it. Once I get settled.’ Hannah poked the fork into her roast lamb salad. ‘How’s the past week been with Stefan, still chatting?’

  ‘Yep, and I’ve seen him twice since the launch. He’s so adorable.’ She smiled and giggled. ‘He sends the funniest messages and pictures, you know, those meme things. Makes me smile. I like him.’

  Hannah grinned. ‘You look smitten. I’m glad. And I know he comes from good stock, so I’m sure I can trust him with my best friend.’

  ‘He hasn’t even tempted me into bed yet, so either he’s just not into me in that way, or he’s trying to be a gentleman.’

  ‘I think he’s pretty into you, my friend. From what I saw.’

  Karen sipped her mineral water with a smile. ‘And what about you and Luca, you two worked so well together that night. It was like you’ve been doing it for years.’

  ‘Doing what?’ Hannah still hadn’t told her about the night they’d spent together.

  ‘Working together.’

  ‘Oh. Yeah, well we did do a lot of that in high school I guess.’ Hannah munched rapidly on her salad and pointed outside. ‘I really like that woman’s top, I wonder where she got it.’

  ‘Hannah?’

  ‘Do you like it? I should get one like that for work.’

  Munch, munch, munch.

  ‘Ah, Hannah?’ Karen leaned closer across the table. ‘What are you not telling me?’

  ‘Telling you? Nothing really, not important. What’s important is right now. The moment.’ She pointed outside again. ‘That one’s nice too. Wow, people here have such nice fashion sense.’

  Karen took the glass from Hannah’s hand. ‘Talk to me.’

  Hannah sighed, and told her about the night with Luca, his suggestion that they try and work something out, and her rejection of the man she thought she would always do anything to have.

  ‘Oh, Hannah. How did you get into this situation?’ Karen shook her head.

  ‘I can’t do anything about it. He bought my place, I got this new job, I’m ready to move in with you. I’ve packed up the house. Everything’s all set and ready.’

  ‘But are you?’

  She flicked her hand. ‘Is anyone truly ever ready for anything? Just have to stick to a plan and follow it through.’

  ‘Han, this isn’t an event, this is your life. Your future. There aren’t always set plans for that, you have to listen to what your heart says.’

  ‘My heart’s only ever led me to disappointment. And anyway, it’s time I spread my wings and... I don’t know, find myself.’ She made quotation marks with her fingers.

  ‘You’re the most “found” and together woman I know, Hannah Delaney. Strong, capable, independent, authentic.’

  She closed her eyes briefly with an appreciative smile. ‘Thank you. I’m lucky to have you as my friend. I have to stick to my decision though. My promise to myself. This whole thing with Luca was probably a test, a challenge, to determine how strong I really was, and also to give closure to something that never got a chance to start, let alone end.’ She sat tall. ‘It’s good. All good. It’s been good. Everything will be good.’

  ‘Good. If you’re sure.’

  She nodded.

  ‘Well I shall look forwards to seeing you on the weekend to help with the move. It’s been good for me too, knowing you’re coming. Made me do a big clean out and declutter. You know, I was reading about how when you declutter and simplify things, you can attract more of what you want into your life. It creates a kind of vacuum effect. Maybe that’s how Stefan came into my life.’

  ‘From cleaning out your drawers and cupboards?’ Hannah chuckled.

  ‘Yep, I think there’s something to i
t. Made me feel lighter and clearer.’

  ‘Actually, I think the clean-out helped me too. There were some things I needed to let go of to help me move forwards I think. Do you know I still had that bracelet Samuel gave me, in my bedside drawer? I decided to donate it. Felt good.’

  ‘See, there you go.’ Karen held up her glass. ‘Here’s to decluttering. Our houses and our lives.’

  ‘To decluttering!’ Hannah held up hers and they clinked them together.

  And to new beginnings.

  ***

  ‘Be there in a minute, Scar!’ Hannah called out to her dog’s lonely murmur from around the back verandah as she walked through the front door, shopping bags in her hands and her ringing phone to her ear.

  ‘Hello, Luca?’

  ‘Hey, how you doin?’

  ‘You sound like Joey from Friends. I’m good thanks, and you? How’s the first week of business been?’

  ‘Better than planned actually. Flat out making sure everything runs smoothly, but that’s to be expected.’

  ‘Excellent. Just got in the door, hang on a sec.’ She unhooked her handbag from her shoulder and placed down her shopping bags. ‘Okay.’

  ‘I just got home too after the lunchtime shift. Anyway, ah, I won’t keep you, I just wanted to say a couple of things.’

  ‘Oh?’ She stood and rested a hand on the island bench.

  ‘Seems silly now after all these years, but I wanted to get it out of my system, and just so you know that this whole thing... the last few weeks, hasn’t been random or meaningless.’

  Hannah’s heart throbbed. She thought they had already discussed everything, and after today, was just about ready to leave things behind.

  ‘Back in school...’ he began, ‘I did like you, you know. I mean, I was attracted to you. In a different way than the others.’

  ‘Luca, you don’t have to say all this. I know, you liked me differently, as a friend.’

  ‘No, I mean yes, I did. But more than that. I liked you differently as in better than all the others. In a special way that I didn’t understand until now. I think I was too young back then, we both were, to recognise what it was.’

  Hannah had to take a seat.

  ‘What I felt back then was everything, all wrapped up into one. Not just lust, or temporary attraction, or friendship, but everything.’

  Once again, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

  ‘I think I...’ he breathed loudly, ‘I think I loved you.’

  The phone slipped from Hannah’s grasp onto the bench with a thud. She scrambled to pick it back up again.

  ‘Hannah?’

  ‘Yes? What? I’m here.’

  ‘I think I still do.’

  Hannah’s breathing, heart rate, body temperature, and everything that could possibly increase increased.

  ‘I... I didn’t think you liked me in that way... I don’t know what...’

  ‘It’s okay, I don’t mean to put you on the spot. I just... really needed to say it. I’m still figuring things out, but that’s what I keep coming back to. And you know the school formal?’

  ‘Huh, the formal? Yes.’

  ‘I was going to ask you to be my date.’

  Hannah’s brows furrowed. ‘But you went with Tracy.’

  ‘I know, but I only asked her because I saw you with Matthew. You were kissing behind the canteen, right when I was looking for you.’

  Her hand went to her temple. ‘You saw that? But... it was only quick. You mustn’t have seen me push him away. I didn’t want him to kiss me.’

  ‘You didn’t?’

  ‘No. I only went with him to the formal because...’ her voice trailed off when Scarlett murmured again, ‘because when I...’ she walked towards the back door, ‘when I went to ask...’

  ‘Ask what? Hannah?’

  She opened the door and immediately knew something was wrong. Scarlett lay on the verandah in her spot, her chest rising and falling quickly with shallow breaths, and then pausing periodically. ‘Scar.’ She knelt down and held a hand to her dog’s head. It was warm and clammy.

  ‘Hannah? Is everything okay?’

  ‘I’m sorry, Luca, I have to go. Something’s wrong with Scar.’ She ended the call in a hurry and put the phone on the outdoor table.

  ‘Scarlett, honey, what’s wrong?’ Hannah’s chin quivered and she patted her dog’s fur. She refilled the water bowl with fresh water from the tap and brought it over. ‘Here, my girl, have some.’ But Scarlett didn’t seem to have the energy to drink. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle with a squeeze top and tried to drip some water into Scar’s mouth. Her dog’s mouth moved a little, trying to drink it, but her tongue seemed too dry to lap it up. She persisted, dripping more water in, then wetting her hands and dampening the dog’s fur to cool it down. It wasn’t like before when she had almost choked on a gumnut, it was different. It seemed like she was fighting a sudden infection, or that her body temperature regulation wasn’t working properly. She stood to grab her phone to call the vet’s after-hours number, but Scarlett murmured again, as though not wanting Hannah to leave her side. Something told Hannah to just stay put, to cuddle her, to talk to her to soothe her.

  ‘It’s okay, girl, I’ll sit with you right here. Everything’s okay. Shh...’ She stroked her fur. ‘There’s been a lot happening around here hasn’t there? I’ve probably been a bit preoccupied. Sorry, Scar.’ Her chin quivered again, and she didn’t want to accept what may be happening.

  The dog’s breath was sporadic and part of Hannah wanted to rush around and do things, call for help, try to fix it somehow, but the other part made her want to just stay right there with her beloved animal and be fully present in the moment, holding her tight, keeping her calm, and letting her know she was loved and not alone.

  Hannah watched warm oranges and reds float onto the sky’s canvas... a scarlet sunset. Just like on the day she’d first been brought home. Tears welled in her eyes but she tensed her eyelids to hold them in, continuing to speak soothing words, as much for her as they were for Scarlett.

  She straightened up a little at the sound of car tyres on the pebbles. Then a car door. Then footsteps, around the side, becoming louder until Luca came into view at the corner of the verandah.

  ‘Hannah, is everything okay?’ He rushed to her side, kneeling down next to her. ‘You hung up suddenly and I wanted to make sure.’

  ‘She’s... I think she’s...’ Hannah’s tears overflowed and spilled down her cheeks.

  Luca touched the dog’s head gently. ‘Do you want me to call someone?’

  Hannah shook her head. ‘It’s okay, I don’t think there’s anything we can do,’ she sniffed. ‘I just want to... to be with her right now, not leave her side.’

  ‘Then I’m not leaving yours.’ Luca nestled in behind Hannah and supported her weight as she hugged her dog.

  Scarlett breathed tiny shallow breaths here and there. Her eyes glossed over, and then her chest stopped moving.

  ‘Scarlett, I’m here. I’m here.’ She stroked her fur continuously, hoping for one more breath, but it didn’t come.

  All was silent and still, waiting in case, but when Hannah looked up at the sky—its scarlet colour had darkened to black. She let out a sob, and then another, and cried the hardest she’d cried in a long time. Hannah’s body went limp with her overwrought emotions and Luca held her and rocked her, saying nothing, simply being there.

  Chapter 29

  After dawn the next morning, Luca returned to Iona, carrying a bunch of flowers. Hannah’s parents were there, helping to prepare Scarlett for burial.

  ‘That’s a lovely gesture, thank you, Luca.’ Kathleen accepted the flowers.

  Doug was making a ditch in the dirt, near the willow tree, where Willow also lay buried.

  ‘Here, let me give you a hand.’

  ‘Thanks, mate.’ He handed the shovel to Luca who continued digging.

  Hannah picked up the large stone she had been engraving
with a knife; it simply said ‘Scarlett’, with a heart shape around it. She carried it to the head of the grave, and steadied it in the ground so that it stood upright.

  ‘That should do it I think.’ Doug said to Luca, who rested the shovel against the tree.

  He gave a nod and looked in the direction of the house. ‘Can I help carry her?’

  Hannah nodded, grateful he was here. She could probably lift her, with some help from her parents, but her dad’s back wasn’t great and neither was his heart, and all the emotions had weakened her body.

  When they reached the verandah, Hannah’s heart sank again. Her beloved Scarlett was there, but at the same time, still and rigid and lifeless, she wasn’t.

  Luca bent down and gathered her in his arms, and Hannah helped, adjusting the knitted blanket around her.

  They carried her to the grave.

  ‘Do you want to take this off?’ Luca asked, eyeing the blanket.

  Hannah shook her head. ‘It can stay with her.’

  ‘You sure, darling?’ asked her mother.

  ‘The vanilla. It smells like me. I want it to stay with her.’

  Her mother nodded.

  Luca lowered Scar into the grave, and Hannah’s chest heaved. She got out her phone and played a song; a peaceful, restful piece of music that she hoped would somehow send her soul on its way peacefully.

  As the music played, Hannah dropped one flower at a time into the grave, on top of the blanket-covered Scarlett.

  ‘Goodbye, my girl,’ she whispered.

  ‘You’ll be missed,’ said her dad.

  ‘We’ll never forget the joy you brought us.’ Her mum placed a comforting arm around her daughter’s shoulder.

  Hannah sobbed softly, her mother sniffling and her father wiping the corner of his eye.

  She was sad, but she was lucky. She’d lost Scar, but she had her parents. Though it wouldn’t be forever, nothing was, but she was lucky for now.

  Hannah peered into the grave and took one last look at her dog. She kissed the underside of her fingers and blew her a kiss, then turned away. ‘Okay, it’s time.’

  Her dad nodded and he and Luca moved to the grave. She could hear the scooping sound of soil being shovelled again, dropping it back into the grave and blanketing Scarlett, and when it was done, she turned around and clamped her lips together at the sight of the dirt mound.